ROMNEY WORDSWORTH – Every once in awhile, I will see in a comments section online a post of such brilliant wit, that it seems a shame to let it disappear down the Memory Hole and not do what I can to preserve it. Besides all that, I’m sure we could all use a good laugh as we watch the country go to Hell in a hand basket. This gag schedule is made all the more humorous in light of today’s Drudge headline showing that Hillary has dropped another 10 points in the polls in the space of a week. Just give it up, ‘Rats. Jump this sinking ship while the jumping is good.
2016 Democratic Convention Schedule Leaked!
11:15 AM – Free Lunch, “medical” marijuana, and bus ride to the Convention. Forms passed out for Food Stamp enrollment
2:30 PM – Group Voter Registration for Undocumented Immigrants
4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
4:05 PM – Singing of ”God Hates America “, led by Harry “I Have Alzheimer’s” Reid
4:15 PM – Address on “Being the Real You,” (white) former Head of the Seattle NAACP, Rachel Dolezal, and “Caitlyn” Jenner
4:30 PM – “How to Bank $200 Million While a Public Servant, and Yet Claiming to be Broke”– Hillary Clinton
4:45 PM – “How to have a successful career without ever having a job, and still avoid paying taxes!” – Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson Seminar
5:00 PM – Medals of Freedom presented to Army deserter Bo Berghdal and a sample of Baltimore Looters
5:30 PM – Invite-only Autograph Session – souvenir photographs of Hillary and Chelsea dodging Sniper Fire in Bosnia.
5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 States – Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi
6:00 PM – General vote on praising Baltimore rioters, and on using the term “Alternative Shoppers” instead of “Looters”
7:30 PM – Announcement of VP choice – Chris Stevens, with a quick withdrawal when Hillary realizes she got him killed in Benghazi
8:30 PM – The White House “Semantics Committee” meeting followed by general vote on now terming “Muslim Terrorism” instead as “Random Acts of Islamic Over-Exuberance”
9:00 PM – “Liberal Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
9:15 PM – Tribute Film to the Brave Freedom Fighters still incarcerated at GITMO – Michael Moore
9:45 PM – Personal Finance Seminar – “Businesses Don’t Create Jobs” – Hillary Clinton
10:00 PM – Group Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible Readers.
10:30 PM – Ceremonial “We Surrender” Waving of the White Flag to Afghanistan, Russia and ISIS.
11:00 PM – Creative Math Seminar: Obama makes an appearance to explain how the national debt rose 92% under his watch, but he’s actually reduced spending.
11:30 PM – “How to Offend Christians While Implementing Sharia Law in America”, “Sneaky Joe” Biden
12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Hillary by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
12:01 AM – Hillary Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior while the Celestial Choirs Sings as Bill Clinton fingers an intern and proclaims this isn’t actually sex.
Originally posted by Roger in Yahoo Canada comments section.