ROMNEY WORDSWORTH – It’s Monday, May 9th, 2016, and you know what that means. Time for the weekly round up for all things moronic and stupid. Let’s get started.
Our first story concerns this man, 25 year old Benjamin Middendorf, of St. Cloud, Florida, who is charged with shooting and killing his 28 year old brother, Nicholas, stemming from an argument over a cheeseburger. I’m going to take a wild guess here and speculate that alcohol and/or drugs were also involved. Well, Benjamin, you know what? You can order all the cheeseburgers you want for your last meal on death row.
Next up is this man, 22 year old Shawn Cummins of Vernon, Connecticut. This special snowflake went over to a neighbor’s apartment at 2:00am to “hang out”. While “hanging out” Cummins became upset when someone else in the apartment took a long time in the bathroom. Maybe Cummins had to take a leak really, really, badly, because he was, no surprise, highly intoxicated according to the police report. Maybe Cummins had to take a dump and was hopping around, about to make a mess in his pants and couldn’t think straight. Whatever the precise motivation, Mr. Cummins was not only in possession of an extremely small bladder, but also a 9mm handgun, which he took out from a concealed waistband and fired one round through the bathroom door, just missing the person inside, according to the police report. Brilliant! Now he’ll have a toilet all to himself in his cell.
Last up is this charming couple from Texas. The man on the left is 20 year old Eddie Herrera, another one of Mexico’s gifts to America. This moron (or is it El Morono?) got the genius idea to rent a hotel room on prom night and pump 2 bottles of whiskey and 10 hydrocodone pills into his girlfriend, and engage in “rough sex”, including autoerotic asphyxiation. Now the girl is dead, what a shocker!
In this genius plan, Herrera had the help of his mother, Melissa Martinez, to obtain the drugs. Gee, mom and son don’t share the same last name. That’s no surprise either, nor that both of them came from the shallow end of the gene pool.
And so it goes in Obama Occupied America, where the movie “Idiocracy” continues to serve as the Liberal’s template for society.