ROMNEY WORDSWORTH - Blame plastics!  An Italian study in 2012 found that men’s penises were growing smaller over three generations, with two centimeters lost from grandfathers to grandsons within the 20th century.  Why is this happening?  In a word:  Phthalates.  What are Phthalates?  Phthalates are artificial chemicals that soften plastics.  They are found in water and soda bottles, vinyl upholstery, and virtually everywhere you look.  You are surrounded by phthalate soaked plastics!  Go to the grocery store, and there is your gallon of milk marinating in them.  Go to the yogurt aisle, and there is your yogurt stewing in phthalate laden soft plastic containers.  Ditto for your bottles of spring water, bags of frozen vegetables, your maple syrup you use at breakfast…the list is almost endless.

A study titled “Decrease in Anogenital Distance Among Male Infants with Prenatal Phthalate Exposure” from 2005 noted that baby boys with greater phthalate exposure had smaller penises, boys exposed to multiple phthalates simultaneously were also likely to have smaller penises, smaller penis volume, and were more likely to experience incomplete testicular descent.

Phthalates do their damage to your manhood by exposing you to synthetic estrogens.  They have the opposite effect on women, inducing puberty and the growing of breast tissue in girls at ages of 9 and 10.  According to, one phthalate in particular is associated with small penises:  Mono2-ethylhexyl phthalate, or MEHP for short.  A study completed last year entitled “Dietary Intake Is Associated with Phthalate Body Burden in a Nationally Representative Sample” showed that there is a link between poultry consumption and MEHP.  Egg consumption was also significantly associated with level of MEHP as well, suggesting that it is the chickens themselves from large industrial producers that have been contaminated by phthalates like MEHP.  Boys having exposure levels to MEHP exhibited less masculine behavior as well as smaller penises as opposed to boys without exposure to MEHP.  MEHP has also been linked to increase risk of cesarean section delivery, diminished child intelligence, male breast growth, and ADD/ADHD.

The trend lines are disturbing, to say the least.  As a species, unrestricted exposure to xenoestrogens in phthalates will ultimately risk extinction, or even if we avoid that, a social dynamic where sterile and/or feminized men with shriveled penises are dominated by aggressive women with unnaturally large breasts.

Getting Wood.

The first thing to do is to limit your exposure to phthalate containing plastics, specifically in the packaging of the food that you consume.  It used to be that food storage was limited to three materials:  Wood, glass, and tin.  It’s time to go back to natural materials for use as food containers.  While it may not help you, it will help your yet to be born offspring.  Of course, this is easier said than done.  A review of your grocery aisle shows how monumental the task will be.  Do not despair!  Start by shopping for your food elsewhere.  Produce markets, which offer little to no pre-packaging of fresh vegetables and fruit, will expose you to no greater risk than a rare splinter of wood from a pallet or basket.  Organic butchers, while expensive, offer a host of health benefits by allowing you to escape the rampant hormones that are injected by the big industrial meat processors into their livestock.

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